I fell…Hard.

So…Yes. Wow. Lots and lots going on since we last met.

I moved to Washington, DC last February and started a new job. I also moved into a new apartment. Fast forward to July. I left the job I moved here for, because I landed my dream job. (more on that another day.) Fast forward to Nov. 1 and I moved into yet another new apartment. Commitment issues? Ha, no. [well maybe] But, both my job and new apt are permanent for a long, long time.

Rewind to last February. I was in the best shape of my life. I [f e l t] amazing. And damn, looking back-I looked amazing. So then I moved. Told myself I had until March 1 to get settled and then kick it back in to my amazingly healthy gear. That happened. Sorta. Fast forward to today [with a few pauses] and here I am…up 20, yes [t w e n t y] lbs and feeling like crap. It’s amazing the toll unhealthy food and lacking exercise has on my body once it’s trained to be accustomed to all the healthy things:

  • Some of my pants still fit, but not comfortably–and seriously some not at all.
  • Many of my shirts are tight in the arms.
  • There was a good amount of time getting dressed in the morning was easy. Everything in my closet fit, felt comfortable, and most importantly made me feel confident—Something I remember telling people was one of my favorite things about losing weight! Now trying to piece together the several items in my closet I’m comfortable in feels like chore.
  • My face has been breaking out like crazy for the last few months (even under the care of a dermatologist!)
  • My workouts feel more difficult in a bad way.
  • I am constantly tired and/or “just don’t feel great.”
  • I [ c r a v e ] sugar. I mean crrrrrrave.

(I’m really not trying to go all Negative Nancy on myself, these are just the facts people.)

Here’s what really shocks me. I’ve sat in those Weight Watchers meetings and listened to countless people talk about how they had lost so much weight and were back because they gained some or all of it back…And each time I remember thinking, “I just don’t understand how that happens. This is my lifestyle…That won’t ever be me.” Whelp folks, I ate those words (and clearly several slices of pizza and all the sweets) because here I am…Riding that struggle bus allllll niiiiigggghhhht loooooong.

I’ve tried to pinpoint if there is one thing that is causing this or if it’s several…I know one thing is the culture in DC is far different than what I was used to in Kansas City. Happy hours weren’t mandatory, brunch didn’t mean bottomless mimosas by the pitcher and as many menu items as I wanted. Weekends weren’t based around bars and booze and my workouts weren’t an “if I have time” option. But that being said…I have to learn to balance. I can’t won’t give up my social outings, but I also [r e f u s e] to let my social life take pertinence over my physical and mental health.

The other [bad news bears] situation tapping on my shoulder: HOLIDAYS. Oh, Lord why is the season ‘o eating upon us?! I absolutely refuse to eat and drink my way through November and December only to wake up January 1 a defeated, bloated, why did I do this mess. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So in my plea to myself to find my healthy ways…To get back on track…To FEEL overall amazing again…I’m turing to you all. Please help me get back on track and finish 2014 strong!

Today begins my personal 15lbs by 2015 challenge. I’m aiming to lose 15 by 1/1/15. I know I can do it–but think it would be a whole lot more fun you all did it with me =D Your goal doesn’t have to be 15 by 15…or even scale specific!

  1. What will you publicly agree to accomplish by Jan. 1, 2015? 
  2. Have any of you gained weight back that you’ve lost? If so, how did you get yourself back on track?

I find myself feeling disappointed that I allowed it to get to this point–a place I never thought I’d be. This is a challenge I honestly never thought I would be facing…But I’m human first…and unfortunately you all know what that means! I am really struggling to stay positive and man oh man do I want to be. I am sharing this with you all yes, in hopes you can help me! But more importantly because I want you to know this weight loss thing is a mad struggle. It’s emotional. And no matter where you are in your journey, [you're not alone.]

This is the night before I started my 15 lbs by 2015 challenge.

The night before I started my 15 lbs by 2015 challenge.


10 thoughts on “I fell…Hard.

  1. I’m with you girl! Moving takes a toll. Finding a new grocery store, gym, rhythm, etc. is hard. Add to that all the new friends to have drinks with, bars to scope, men to have dinner with and restaurants to try…. umm, yeah, pants will not be fitting. I commit to lose 5 pounds with you. (I already lost about 5 this last month or so so I am aiming to keep my groove.!) We can do this!!! XOXOX

  2. Thank you for sharing your story and your honesty. Although I haven’t yet reached your level of health and fitness accomplishments, I’ve fallen off the wagon SEVERAL times — and dang if it isn’t so freaking hard to climb back on.

    That said, you’ve conquered some truly incredible goals — and congratulations on landing your dream job! It will take some time to continue to adjust to the change, but your 15 by 01/01/15 pledge is the perfect place to start. I’m currently at 17 pounds down (thanks to Weight Watchers) and I pledge to lose a total of 25 by 01/01/15. Ideally, I’d like to make that 30 lbs, but as long as I fall somewhere at 25 or above, I’ll be thrilled. My total weight loss goal is 100 lbs. and I often feel intimidated by how much I still have to lose. That’s when I try to focus on small changes that add up to a bigger change while also focusing on what I’ve been able to lose so far. That (mostly) helps … but that struggle bus keeps speeding on by. I’m cheering for you and so excited to continue to follow your journey!

  3. Same sad story here! I lost about 20 kgs (I guess around 44 pounds) in a year and then gained almost half of that back. For the past year, it’s been yo-yoing on a constant basis :( Am aiming to lose those 20 or so pounds, though I haven’t given myself a clear deadline. I guess I should now!

  4. I am in the.exact.same.position, and it sucks. I just had a “come to jesus” talk with myself last weekend, because I do NOT want to finish out this year heavier than I started it. I recommitted to WW earlier this week, and it’s already been SO helpful in getting myself back on track. I’m thinking of starting a #fit4fifteen linkup on my blog if other people are interested and would love to have you co-host if you’re interested!! Let me know and best of luck in your pledge too– we CAN and WILL do this!!

  5. Grace….You are young…and I am thankful you have found early to focus on your health. Pushing 50 myself, I found nearly 17 years ago that my health needed to come first so I could be around for my family. As you and many others, the Weight Watchers program has come to the forefront of my life just this week…spent 3 weeks prepping (find my points calculator…cleaning out cupboards and fridge of bad things…the what not)….I will be with you on your journey to lose by January 1, 2015. 15 pounds is a good number…so I will make that commitment also. Let’s do this Grace! Cindy (Wisconsin)

    • Also I’m a runner and have a crappy diet :/ I NEED to get this weight off and into health mode to train for a half marathon that’s in April. I’m 43 and my metabolism is shot so HELP!!! Must lose weight and be healthy. Can’t do it by myself it seems.

  6. I am with you! I am jumping in late, but I signed back on with WW last week and dropped five pounds. I had 23 to lose. I would love to drop 8 more by the new year.

    I am a 47 yo teacher with two teenagers. I have a very busy life. I am very excited about dropping weight and getting more comfortable with my clothing. I am sorry you slipped, but you’ll get back on track.


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